At First Spite by Olivia Dade

This is my first Olivia Dade novel and it certainly won’t be my last. It was emotional, grown-up and absolutely compulsive reading.

Athena has no direction in life. When the book opens, she’s working as a teacher an hour and a half away from Harlot’s Bay, the setting of the novel. She’s burnt out and really not sure what to do next careerwise. Her distress is particularly acute because at the age of 37, she really feels like she should have her shit together by now. At the start, she is engaged to Johnny, a pediatrician who is younger than her. He’s based in Harlot’s Bay and they have big plans involving her moving to Harlot’s Bay and leaving teaching as she hunts for what will fulfill her more. There is a problem though: Johnny’s brother, Matthew, is very opposed to the match and really wants Johnny to break off the engagement. Matthew is a pediatrician as well and works with Johnny and Matthew’s best friend, Yvonna, in a practice in Harlot’s Bay.

On a surface level, this story might seem a bit messed up. When Johnny calls off the wedding, Matthew swoops into Athena’s life. But to present the story as simply that does it a great disservice because heavens the EMOTIONS in this novel are intense and plentiful. It’s also a disservice to call it an enemies-to-lovers novel because while at one stage Athena and Matthew are enemies, and yes, they do become lovers, this is only one sliver of their experiences with one another. Yes, there is some banter and some hot sex, but for the most part this novel is packed to the brim with messy emotions. These messy emotions mean that the banter I might have expected from an enemies-to-lovers story would be inappropriate and while there are humorous moments, they accentuate the emotional journey rather than undermine it. In fact, there is a LOT of crying in this book. It didn’t make me cry, but it certainly gave me a heavy heart.

What Matthew does is pretty messed up, but when I look at things with a more nuanced lens, it is clear that Johnny and Athena were indeed poorly matched. Matthew is opposed to the marriage for a variety of really good reasons. Yes, Matthew does his best to break them up, but it’s clear even at the start that this is a good decision for all parties. There is a tremendous amount of hurt feelings, understandably so, when the engagement is called off, but the writing makes it so easy to see all sides of the story. For example, right from the jump you want to root for Matthew and Athena because it is clear that they are really well suited. Before the reader even meets Johnny on the page, Matthew and Athena interact before either knew who the other was and their chemistry was off the charts! (Incidentally, there is a very good explanation for how it is that Athena and Matthew haven’t met even though Athena is engaged to Johnny at that stage. I appreciate that kind of careful detail as it helps me stay in the story.)

There is also a rather beautiful extended metaphor of life being a sea voyage, specifically Athena’s search for meaningful, fulfilling work. At one stage, Athena is a shipwreck but Matthew quotes Gotthold Ephraim Lessing: “They make glorious shipwrecks who are lost in seeking worlds”. Matthew sees Athena’s search as a brave endeavour.

There is one instance that pulled me out of the story. I’m going to hide it behind a spoiler tag because it happens about midway through the book.

Readers who pick this up should note that I initially felt certain that this book was ‘women’s fiction’ rather than ‘romance’ because of the depth of the relationship between the two brothers. There’s a whole lot to unpack there. While the full story is only revealed much later in the novel, suffice to say that Matthew has a bit of a martyr thing going as he cares for his brother like he always has. They have more of a father-son relationship and so it always falls to Matthew to take care of Johnny. Matthew is worn down to nubs protecting his brother and trying to do the right thing. However, despite the father-son relationship that Matthew and Johnny have, when the romance between Athena and Matthew heats up, Johnny is pushed to the side and we don’t interact with him until the inevitable confrontation in the third act of the book.

If you’re looking for a book of sparkle and light, then this is not the book for you. It’s heavy going emotionally, but so well-written that I could not put it down. My normal routine went out the window because I NEEDED to know how things would unfold. The cast of supporting characters are sincerely charming and I do look forward to the next book in the series.