There’s always trouble at the top. Future and Metro Boomin’s long-simmering joint album We Don’t Trust You shot to No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart in the week since its debut, while Kendrick Lamar’s fighting words for fellow rappers Drake and, to a slightly lesser extent, J. Cole on the track “Like That” hath unleashed the very fury my colleague Frazier Tharpe predicted they would.
Last night, superproducer Metro Boomin took to X claiming he’d been subjected to a barrage of spam calls from Toronto-area phone numbers—the implication being that they may have been deployed by the 6 God himself. But the plot thickened when Metro shared his correspondence with a Balenciaga rep named Shawn, who had sent the producer an urgent email—subject line: “Call me this is Shawn from BALENCIAGA”—regarding a recent purchase. As it turned out, the hacker had attempted to place an eye-watering $23,000 private order of Balenciaga goods including T-shirts, bags, and a pair of heavy-duty leather biker boots ($5,600) similar to the ones Kanye used to wear in his big-Balenciaga-boot days.
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As though this were a standard buyer-seller exchange on Grailed, the hacker asked thorough questions (“Oversized or true to size for the tees?”) and made selects from the inventory. They also, bafflingly, inquired if the Balenciaga rep had any Chanel bags—seems fishy. Yet when the rep asked for Metro’s credit card credentials to finalize the five-figure order, the text trail went cold—the blue iMessages turned green.
Per Metro, there were several red flags that should have signaled something was afoot. “I would never order these freaky ass boots 😂😂😭😭😭,” the producer wrote. The “texting the Balenciaga store about CHANEL bags,” though, was a pretty good bit: “I was so mad but this part made me laugh a lil bit can’t lie.”
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But Balenciaga wasn’t the only luxury label the hacker tried to finagle on Metro Boomin’s behalf. Complicating matters, Metro got a text from his Louis Vuitton guy (listed as “Pete Louis Vuitton Topanga” in his phone) alerting him to a suspicious rerouting request for the producer’s recent order for multiple pieces of monogrammed luggage from rapper Tyler, the Creator’s pastel-heavy collaboration with the French house. (The hacker has expensive taste: Balenciaga, Chanel, Louis Vuitton…talk about the big three!)
“Please do not tell me I shipped everything to the hackers in Houston,” LV Pete pleaded, sharing the shipping address the hacker had provided. “Broooooo. Wtfff. No way, please you didn’t,” Metro texted back.
That was enough chaos for one day. “I just found out in real time that all the Tyler LV I ordered just got shipped to the hacker,” the producer wrote. “Going to sleep now 😐.” Time to log off.
