If part of what makes Biden intriguing are his vices, then his pardon is appealing to some as a bit of justice, however imperfect, for a man whose intentions seemed purer than his actions and whose personal redemption was dogged by what could easily be seen as politically-motivated prosecutions. (He was convicted earlier this year for lying about his drug use on an application to purchase a handgun, pleaded guilty to federal tax evasion charges in September, and faced a maximum of 25 years in prison.) Did he frequent strip clubs and pay for sex? Well, sex work is work! Did he have a secret affair with his brother’s widow? Quelle tragique! Did he father a child in Arkansas, demand a paternity test, and spend years in a court battle with the child’s mother? Don’t worry—she’s getting back child-support payments and Hunter’s paintings! Does everyone have a solid grasp on the exact details of Hunter’s nefarious business dealings in Ukraine? Absolutely not! “Good for him,” another friend texted me, referring to the president issuing the pardon. “Now do everyone on death row and then chopper out of the White House with two middle fingers in the air.”
Of course, while some cheered Hunter’s reversal of fortune, politicians and media pundits did a collective spit take, taking to their keyboards to declare that Biden had sullied his reputation by going back on his promise to not grant his son clemency.
California Governor Gavin Newsom, long tipped as a Democratic presidential hopeful, told Politico, “With everything the president and his family have been through, I completely understand the instinct to protect Hunter. But I took the president at his word. So by definition, I’m disappointed and can’t support the decision.”
But perhaps no one has been more obsessed with Hunter Biden than conservative journalists at Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation. It was The New York Post’s Page Six that first reported in 2017 that Biden was in a relationship with his brother’s widow, Hallie Biden. The Post spent years covering the acrimonious child support court case between Biden and Lunden Roberts with the breathless fervor of a nosy auntie, seemingly never quite sure how to reconcile the fact that Roberts was both Biden’s “baby mama” and a gun-toting “pro America” social media presence.
But the tabloid went all-in on the Hunter beat in 2020 when it broke the news of Biden’s now-infamous laptop, which contained not only what it called “smoking gun” proof of Biden’s shady overseas business dealings, but also a trove of “raunchy videos” and images of the president’s son engaged in consensual sex and drug use. The images of Hunter’s penis became such a staple of cable news fodder that its pixelated presence morphed into a meme.
Still, with all due respect to Hunter Biden the actual man, none of this actually matters very much outside of the echo chamber of op-eds and the outrage news cycle. The Hunter we love is a character we’ve summoned in our silly group chats, not unlike what The Onion did when it created “Diamond Joe.” With any luck, the outgoing president’s son will live a happy, sober life and fade from the collective consciousness like Roger Clinton before him. Or that’s how we, the twisted sisterhood of Hunter fandom, would have it. Inshallah.
